I have difficulty getting an erection. I have a new girlfriend and am having sex for the first
time in a while.
I can get an erection by myself, but I’m having a hard time getting it up with her, which is
embarrassing to say the least.
I’m 32, I eat well, I’m not fat, I don’t do drugs or drink too much, so I’m not sure what my
Have you come across this before? Do you have any suggestions for me?
I have come across this before, as a matter of fact, I get emails like yours several times a week
and based on my experience, the problem is usually caused by too much of this…
Excessive masturbation is an extremely common cause of wood difficulties, especially in
And if you’ve been going at the internet porn too often, this would explain your problem getting
an erection with your new girlfriend.
(married men do this too)
This happens because the arousal neurotransmitter, dopamine, hits crack cocaine levels when you view hardcore images on your computer, too much or too long.
Dr. Elizabeth Waterman a psychologist at Morningside Recovery Center in Newport Beach CA who treats men addicted to porn, explained it like this…
Over time, the receptors that were once very sensitive become less sensitive, and normal physical intimacy does not produce enough dopamine to stimulate the dopamine receptors.
In other words, the more porn you watch, the more graphic porn you need to view in order to get it up.
If the trend continues, men can find themselves physically unable to maintain an erection, much less enjoy sexual contact with another person.
Now here’s an easy way to test and see if you have this problem…
Stop masturbating to porn for a full week, then pay close attention to the quality and frequency of your morning wood.
If you’ve been masturbating too much, you’ll see a noticeable spike in am wood frequency and quality…which may happen within a matter of days because dopamine saturation Kills morning wood production.
If this is the case, the solution to your problem is fairly simple…
Stop masturbating and start having sex instead. And when you feel the need for an occasional release when your girlfriend isn’t around, be efficient about it….
Do this, and you won’t oversaturate your dopamine receptors.
If you find it difficult to stay away from porn for a week straight, this is pretty solid proof that you’ve become addicted to the dopamine rush brought on by hardcore pornography…
Because extended porn sessions really open up the dopamine floodgates. And if you think about it, there’s no way your new girlfriend can compete with this onslaught.
She simply won’t be able to give you a big enough dopamine rush….and if you don’t get enough dopamine, you don’t get the erection.
Look at it this way..
She’s been serving up Miller Lite, but you’ve been drinking straight shots of tequila, and in your current state it’s going to take much more than a light beer to get you buzzed.
So the key is to back way down on your dopamine consumption until you get to the point where seeing her naked body arouses you enough to bring on an erection.
One final point…
Once you’ve achieved this, you can start chasing dopamine in a less destructive way…
And you can easily accomplish this by doing novel things in the bedroom, by courting her so she’ll willingly gives you these things, and by constantly mixing it up so you don’t fall into a sexual rut.
This will safely lead you out of the danger zone, because once you drop the porn, nothing brings on a better dopamine buzz than the pursuit of female sexual attention.
And best of all, this dopamine fix will not saturate your receptors, so its sustainable over the long haul.
You’ll know when you have this right when the sex with her is good, the erections are hard and you wake up consistently with a rigid flag pole every morning.
Thanks for your question.
Internet Sex Addiction
Sexual Fantasy and Erectile Dysfunction
Group treatment of single males with erectile dysfunction